Most of the day I felt overwhelmed. This impending exam is REALLY weighing on me. Having had the first week of class canceled due to the weather has just thrown me off. I learn mostly from class so since all the material from week 1 is solely my responsibility to learn...I am freaking out because I feel like I don't have enough time or energy to get the reading done. I go online and look at the lists of handouts and PowerPoints to review. This is just as much information as in Med. Surgical. I only now class is only half as long and I am taking Psychiatric Nursing as well. I talked to a classmate about what material will be on the exam. That helped. She gave me a visual of the information and it helped make it seem more manageable. I really need some "Whooo Saaaa" time to put things into perspective.
Working full-time and doing school is not easy and I wouldn't trade it for the world. As I have gotten older I appreciate the challenge that going back to school has provided. I enjoy a class so much more when it doesn't come easy. There is something very satisfying about being able to do well after working really hard at something. In my younger days having to put effort into something = NO FUN. I guess this girl IS growing up! lol
The commute home was a practice in focusing and thought redirection. The devil again tried to get me. I fought back though! I turned off the radio and I prayed. I had a very nice, cleansing conversation with God. I am sure people on the road were a bit concerned. "Is she OK? She is talking to someone over there by herself and crying." Yes, I cried while I prayed today, in my car, on 270 northbound, and it felt great! God reminded me of how blessed I really am and how thankful I should be. He lifted some of the clouds the devil placed on my heart to keep me down. I know deep in my heart that when I sit and look at my life and where I am I should never feel down. God has and continues to do so much for me. All my needs are met and he really provides for all of my wants eventually. He truly is an on time God. God knows my heart, He made it, so he knows that I love him. I just need to do my part to live the life he intended for me to live and to continue to praise Him in my good times and my storms. The negative thoughts will come but I will not let them win!
Praying today in the car was extremely positive so I will incorporate that into my commute each day. You can never have to much one on one time with the Lord. I am going to also spend time at the library when I get home from work tomorrow. I never go there so I am hoping that the change of atmosphere will help me focus and allow me to get some much needed reading done.
Day 3 down, 362 more to go!
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