Determined (Day 2)

 

I want to start today's post by saying THANK YOU to all those who have read my first post and given me words of support and encouragement!!!

Determination is the word that best describes my mood today...oh yes and tired. LOL I believe that is a constant state at the moment. I did fairly well with controlling my thoughts. I did find that quiet time in the car is NOT a good thing for me. The commute home was the hardest part of my day. It seemed that most of the songs on the radio I could relate to and when I was almost home Cupid by 112 started. It was the only time that I almost cried today. That is a huge accomplishment for me because I cry most days and anytime I feel like I am going to cry...I do. So, yea me!! Also images of happy couples and pregnant woman are tough for me. I am not in "desperation mode" when it comes to this area of my life...not even close. I truly believe that God is preparing me for those things and when I am ready He will present me to my "Adam." The devil knows of my strong desire for those things so he tries to cause fear and doubt in my mind that I will never have the family life that I hope for. When these and other negative thoughts came into my head I would stop the thought, tell myself why it wasn't true and replace it with something positive. I also kept a devotional blog in my head that a friend sent to me this morning after reading my first post. ;-)

School anxiety is starting to increase now as well simply because each day brings me closer to exam #1 in Medical Surgical Nursing II. I know I said I would spend time studying but that didn't happen. My level of tiredness is such that I can't stay awake when reading...very frustrating. I will pray about it. God has brought me this far. I know He will not stop carrying me now. The day wasn't perfect but I don’t expect anyway to be, actually. I am just trying to make each new day better than the one before. 

Let's see...tomorrow is class day so that means I have to be out of the house EARLY to make it to work EARLY so that I can leave EARLY enough to make it to school on time. I liked how I stopped my negative thoughts today so I plan to continue that tomorrow. To improve I plan to find someone to talk to or listen to talk radio during my commute. I will most likely spend that time praying as well. I will let you know how that goes. I believe that it will go very well. (positive thoughts!)

Day 2 down, 363 more to go!