Better (Day 11)

I ended today feeling better than I started it which is a great thing. Rough but needed conversations took place. I learned that I need to work harder at letting my thoughts and feelings out. If I have to I will write it down and make sure to verbalize it. I felt really heavy emotionally. I am so easily able to get my feelings out in this blog because I can take my time to write it. It is less stressful than a conversation because I don't have to understand and express what I am feeling instantly. I am what is termed an "internal processor" Visit this blog Personality Types and scroll down to type #3. That is me all the way except that I am not shy nor do I feel overwhelmed at parties or gatherings. I am asking those around me to take that into consideration. That is how I process information and is a part of who I am. Everyone is different and one type is no better than another. It is not a negative thing or a positive thing it is just me.

The dress fitting went well. My friend drove me and met my mother when I went to pick up the dress. The meeting went well, whew! *wipes forehead* I didn’t think that it wouldn’t you just never know. lol The fitting itself went very well except for the $120+ dollars it cost me! The dress itself was the same price, *sigh* oh well... I will have to wear flats...boo! My mother, not the bride or groom, but my mother says that I must cover my tattoo. I don't want to. It will be a hassle for nothing. We will see how that goes. If she wants it covered she can buy the makeup and apply it as well. I go back on the 4th of March to try on the finished product. I did well at the store personally as well. I had sad feelings hit me for just a second walking past the brides-to-be but I squashed it and moved on. I was proud of myself.

I didn't smile as much today as I would have liked but it was an improvement over yesterday. I am going to end with a quote and talk about what it means to me and how I will apply it to my day tomorrow. S/O to KP for the suggestion!

 

“He who limps is still walking”

                                      – Stanislaw J. Lec

I selected this because I felt like I am limping through life emotionally at times. When I have a not so good day I feel defeated and like I am not going anywhere. But the quote is true though my movements my not be perfect and it is harder for me than maybe someone else I am still living and making forward progress "walking" each day. I am only defeated when I sit out of life by withdrawing and losing focus on my goals. So with that said, tomorrow I will not sit out of life. I will not let myself have any moments where I withdraw or go so deep into my grief that I loose sight of my goals.

Day 11 down...354 more to go!